You probably know my big brother Percy. Unfortunately he got sent back to where he came from. Understandably he is quite angry about the whole situation. He said "Why send me back? I'm not a boat person; I'm not a terrorist; I'm not going to blow up anything; in fact, people are going to blow me up, because I'm a blow-up pool you stupid people!"
As I am smaller I am considered less threatening and less likely to spark an incident. I don't know about that though. If you have a big Irish wolfhound and a little white fluffy dog it is bound to be the little bastard Paris Hilton dog that nips you. I'm not saying I'm a trouble maker, just that it is unwise to equate size with danger. You may very well have had a small girl/boyfriend who turned out to be a complete psycho.
One of the advantages of me being small is that I will bring people closer together. You can easily play footsies or throw each other grapes from a distance where you are quite likely to be able to successfully catch it in your mouth. You can have really really quick pool pony races. You can fill me up with jelly* and make lots of money by selling tickets to watch you wrestle.
I am really looking forward to seeing all you hot people in your bikinis - you may have guessed, I'm quite shallow.
*If you do decide to fill me up with jelly could you please make it raspberry flavour - I like that the best.
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